Having YOUR All—Reframing the Dialogue

Time and time again, Millennial women are told not only can they “have it all,” but that they should “have it all.” The media paints a picture of what we should look like: perfectly curled hair, a fabulous career, a yoga body, an immaculate house, and time to make a nutritious dinner for the kids and partner every night.

But what is this message really saying to women? And more importantly—who has time for all of that?!

So many women strive to have it all because we feel like we are supposed to, not because we genuinely enjoy maintaining all of those ideals and living a very stressful life. When we fall short—because it’s impossible not to—we begin to question our work-ethic, our beauty, and our achievements.

Realistically, there are only so many hours in a day. After a particularly grueling day at work, it’s okay to give yourself permission to sit on the couch with a glass of wine and Netflix binge instead of spending hours at the gym and making a complicated dinner from scratch on a Wednesday evening. When your kid wakes up six times during the night and you only get two hours of sleep, it’s okay to give yourself permission to run out the door with your hair in shambles so you can make it to work on time (or at least only slightly late).

When you spend all of your time trying to be someone else’s version of perfection, your life can become imbalanced. Allowing yourself to slow down for a moment and focus on a couple of things at a time doesn’t make you any less of a superhero—your inner Wonder Woman is still intact, she just needs a little TLC before she starts saving the world again.

Instead of striving to have it all, we can reframe this concept to having your all. Perhaps finding a job that gives you meaning or that will help you tackle some of those outrageous student loans is having your all. Maybe diving back into the dating scene again or progressing to the next stage with your current partner is having your all. Or perhaps making it home a few nights a week to put your child to bed or to plan a monthly outing to the zoo is having your all. Any one of these is a tremendous feat—you don’t have to do each one all at once, and you certainly don’t have to do any of them perfectly.

Having your all allows you to take care of yourself so that you are more motivated and energized to focus on the aspects of your life that genuinely bring you joy. Work on a few things and do them really well. If you don’t feel like you’re achieving your goals, take a step back for a moment, recharge, and make some small action steps to help you move forward again. Celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small. The things you do matter—be proud of who you are and what you do.

When we focus on our own self-care, we have more to give back to those we love and the world around us. When we are balanced, we can move mountains.

So take a moment this week and reflect on what having your all means to you. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!

Sending good vibes your way,